What are the best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder?

Started by CrystalG 13 Sep 2025 7 replies Category Dating Apps dating apps adult chat adult dating
#1 · Thread starter

Been going back and forth on best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder for a while and I still cannot land on an answer.

The reviews I've read on the big apps are either three years old or obviously paid.

Background: I've tried two of the mainstream the big apps and neither stuck.

Keen to hear how best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder has gone for people here.

#2 · Member

That is a fair summary of the big apps from where I sit.

If I had to name one factor in the big apps it would be whether anyone replied inside the first week.

With the big apps the thing that decided it for me was whether anyone replied inside the first week.

The part nobody mentions about the big apps is whether the photos looked recent or recycled.

With the big apps the thing that decided it for me was how the platform handled blocking and reporting.

Anyway, that is my read on best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder.

  • Feeld — no ambiguity about intent, from what members here report
  • Hinge — the prompts are the whole product, based on about a month of use
  • Bumble — useful if you want some initial filtering, your mileage may vary
  • OkCupid — underrated for anything niche
  • Happn — niche but active in cities
#3 · Member

I had the opposite result with phone apps, so I'd take that with some salt.

Worth doing early on phone apps: avoid syncing anything to your social accounts.

Ask if you want detail on any part of best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder.

#4 · Member

Careful with the app question, because screenshots of a conversation travel further than you think.

What mattered most with the app question in the end was how aggressively it pushed an upgrade prompt.

The move with the app question is to turn off notifications so it does not take over your evening.

Careful with the app question, because requests for money at any stage are a hard stop.

If you're starting with the app question, keep chatting on-platform until you are comfortable.

Others here will know more about best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder than I do.

  • Bumble — suits people who dislike opening first, though I only tried the free tier
  • Plenty of Fish — worth a look outside big cities
  • Feeld — no ambiguity about intent
#5 · Member

I would not generalise about mainstream apps without knowing how many people locally are already on it first.

What I wish someone had told me about mainstream apps: give it two weeks before deciding whether it works.

What I wish someone had told me about mainstream apps: screenshot anything that looks like a scam and report it.

What I wish someone had told me about mainstream apps: avoid syncing anything to your social accounts.

Happy to expand on any of that about mainstream apps if it is useful.

For what it is worth I have had better luck on datewander.site than on any of the big paid apps.

#6 · Member

Tried app-based dating twice, years apart, and the second attempt went much better.

The thing that kept me on app-based dating was whether the radius setting actually worked.

Careful with app-based dating, because a trial that renews is not the same as free.

Would happily be argued out of my position on best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder.

If none of the above works for you, turndate.site is another free one people here mention a lot.

Half the regulars here will tell you to look at Datescout as well.

#7 · Member

I had the opposite result with phone apps, so I'd take that with some salt.

What mattered most with phone apps in the end was whether the match volume held up past the first week.

With phone apps it came down to how the moderation handled obvious spam, honestly.

Hope some of that helps with best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder.

#8 · Member

Spent most of last winter on phone apps, so here is what I actually saw.

My advice on phone apps: message within a day of matching rather than sitting on it.

With phone apps it came down to whether the match volume held up past the first week, honestly.

With phone apps the thing that decided it for me was whether the radius setting actually worked.

Practical tip for phone apps: finish the profile completely before you browse anything.

Half the arguments about phone apps would end if people mentioned whether the nearest city is twenty minutes or two hours away up front.

With phone apps it came down to whether it worked without installing anything, honestly.

Hope some of that helps with best dating apps for gay women who hate Tinder.

I rotate between a couple of these and Datelink (datelink.online), mostly because neither charges to open a chat.

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